Twilight, Chapter 2

Are you ready for this?

…you sadist bastards.

Chapter 2: Open Book

We open with the cheery though that “The next day was better…and worse.”  Bella knows how her day is going to go, I object to her arbitrarily dismissing nerdy-looking Eric as a member of chess club again because a) what’s wrong with chess, and b) not all nerds can play chess.  And she’s…flattered that Eric is glaring at Mike?  Didn’t she hate the attention the day before?

*riffles pages*

Yup.  She did not like it.

Well, she’s being less rude, I can tell you that.  She’s actually deigning to remember people.

Now, apparently, she can’t sleep because of the noise the wind makes, which is part of what makes her day worse.  Then she has a trig fail and hits someone on the head with a volleyball.  Admittedly, that’s kind of hilarious.  But her day is also “worse” because Edward Cullen was not in school.  Why should that matter, though?  He wanted to eat hated her, right?  And then she gets more and more tense tenser and tenser throughout lunch when he doesn’t show.  So, she wants him to be there?  Also, grammar fail.

And then she walks confidently to class when he doesn’t ever come to lunch?  What?

Meyer, you’re confusing me.

Bella is irritated that Mike is being friendly.  So now she doesn’t like the attention.  Bipolar much?  Plus, she convinced that Edward isn’t in school because of her.  Well, he did want to eat you, sweetie.

Then we find out that Charlie can’t cook, so Bella is taking over the role of cook and shopper.  Traditional gender roles FTW!

Not really.  Tradition can go fuck itself.

Oo!  Oo!  The Volvo gets another mention!  And this time, I have an acronym!

“Volvo, the Vampiric, Outlandish, Lust-Validating Option.”

Dude, I should totally do their commercials.

After shopping, Bella gets home and decides to check her e-mail.  She has three from her mom, wondering how she’s doing, why Bella hasn’t e-mailed yet, and being very worried, in that order.  What, Bella didn’t e-mail/call/text her mom right away when she landed/got in the car with Charlie/got to the house/whatever?  Seriously Siriusly?  And then Bella sends off a somewhat-irritated-sounding e-mail, telling her mother to calm down?  What?

I text my mom whenever I leave somewhere or get somewhere else.  Granted, if I didn’t, my mom would either not let me go out or attach a GPS to me so she’d know where I was at all times.

Moving on.  So Bella e-mails her mom, reads Wuthering Heights, Charlie comes home, Bella works on their dinner, and the Swan family discusses the Cullen family.  Charlie has a very high opinion of the Cullens, even with “all those adopted teenagers.”

Ouch, Charlie.  I’m hurt.  Wounded, even.

But Charlie has good reason to think highly of the Cullens, apparently, even the teenagers.

Dr. Cullen is a brilliant surgeon who could probably work in any hospital in the world, making ten times the salary he gets here… We’re lucky to have him—lucky that his wife wanted to live in a small town.  He’s an asset to the community, and all of those kids are well-behaved and polite.  I had my doubts, when they first moved in, with all those adopted teenagers.  I thought we might have some problems with them.  But they’re all very mature—I haven’t had a speck of trouble from any of them.  That’s more than I can say for the children of some of the folks who have lived in this town for generations.  And they stick together the way a family should—hunting camping trips every other weekend… Just because they’re newcomers, people have to talk.

So Charlie likes the Cullens.  Cool.

The rest of Bella’s week is uneventful.  By the next Monday, she is feeling more comfortable than she thought she ever would.  Cool.  Can you stop whining now?

And then snow!  Yay snow!  I like snow!  It snowed yesterday, actually, and I went out and danced in it and caught flakes on my tongue.  It was great!

But Bella doesn’t like snow.  Of course she doesn’t.  She doesn’t like anything fun.

The other kids start a snowball fight, and Bella runs from it.  She takes refuge in Spanish class, and keeps a binder in her hands to ward off incoming missiles.  Bella wanders into the cafeteria, internally whining about snow melting in her socks—they’re called boots, love, get some—when she is frozen in place.

EDWARD HAS RETURNED OMG.

So she passes through lunch trying not to look at him.  But she glances at him occasionally (read: every five seconds).  And he stares at her.  Why yes, he is trying to set her hair on fire with his Emo Vampire Death Glare, patent pending, as a matter of fact.

After they leave the cafeteria, the snow has turned to rain—that fast?—and all the snow that has built up in the past *checks watch* two periods is melting away.  Mike complains about, sounding very much like me when that happens.

And then—Biology!  Yay!  Actually, I hated biology.  But I’m pretty sure that had everything to do with the teacher, and nothing to do with the content.  I may give it another try in college.

Anyway!  Edward Finally Speaks to Bella.

“Greetings, human,” he begins.  “My name is Edward Cullen.  I wanted to eat you last week.  Well, I still do, but I just went hunting, so the urge isn’t as pressing as before.  I’m sorry, I’m being rude.  You must be Bella Swan.”

No, he doesn’t actually say that.  Yes, I’m having way too much fun with this.  Don’t judge me.

So they go through Biology, checking each other’s work along the way, because Bella is ~so smart~ that she can so the same things as a 100-year-old virgin vampire.  And at one point they touch and there is ELECTRIC SEXUAL ATTRACTION OMG and I start laughing.  Again.

They finish before anyone else, then OH MY GOD WE ACTUALLY GET AN EXPLANATION.  Bella tells Edward why she came to Forks even if she didn’t want to!

Apparently, Bella’s mother got remarried to a guy named Phil who plays Minor League baseball, so he travels a lot.  Renée stayed in Phoenix with Bella, but Bell could Totally Tell that her mom didn’t really want to be in Phoenix, so she decided to be all self-sacrificing and move to Forks so Renée could travel with Phil.  But now Bella’s miserable.  And Edward doesn’t think that’s fair.  But Bella’s all like “So?” and I start thinking that she’s a bit more like me than I would like to think.  At least I don’t bitch about the choices I make that end up with me being miserable.  Not even internally.

And then Edward starts acting weird again and leaning away from Bella because he is almost overpowered by her amazing delicious freesia-scented blood.  And then gym happens, and then Bella heads to her truck to go home, and then she almost runs into another car, and then she sees Edward laughing.  Bro, I’d be laughing, too.  I’d be laughing my ass off if some idiot almost ran into another car in the parking lot.  Just throwing that out there.

So that concludes chapter two.  Tune back in at some later date for chapter three.  Maybe if I dose up enough on Sherlock, it’ll be up tomorrow!

OTHER CHAPTERS
Chapter 1
Chapter 3