Twilight, Chapter 4

So, who’s been waiting for this?

*crickets*

Yeah, I thought so.

Onward anyway…

Chapter 4: Invitations

So!  Starting off, we get a description of Bella’s dream.  The one that started in the last chapter, if you remember.  If you don’t, click the link.

Well, when I say “description,” I mean it in the loosest sense of the word possible.  You know, the Stephanie Meyer definition.  In Bella’s dream, it’s dark, and there is Edward. He is the only source of light; guys, he’s glowing.  This is obviously foreshadowing.  All I have to say about it is “facepalm”.

So, after the dream, Bella experiences embarrass.  She is the center of attention after the accident, and she does not like it, guys.  Tyler follows her, and now sits at her lunch table.  Mike and Eric are Not Pleased.  Bella is Very Annoyed.

Guys.  Guys.  I’m a genius.  I’ve got this.  Okay, Bella doesn’t like all these guys following her around, yeah?  Here’s my idea:  Be seen kissing a girl.  Gayness.  It’s the solution for all problems.  I’m telling you.

Anyway, no one else is obsessed with Edward, Bella experiences chagrin, and Edward slowly gets hungrier and hungrier and wants to nom Bella’s blood.  Bella is no longer angry with Edward, merely feeling awed gratitude.  And I facepalm again.

Bella is experiencing both lack of willpower and sudden-onset depression.  Because she thinks that one boy—one boy, out of hundreds—doesn’t like her.  Didn’t she say something about no boys liking her back at the beginning?

*riffles pages*

Yup.  Before she came to Forks, there were no boys.  Now she’s depressed—actually, legitimately depressed, apparently—because all the other boys like her, but one doesn’t.

Sweetheart, I hate to break this to you, but not everyone is going to like you.  It’s part of life, dear.

Anyway, Jessica wants to ask Mike to the Sadie Hawkins-type dance, so she…asks Bella’s permission?   Okay…  But she asks Mike, and Mike says he’ll think about it, and then invites Bella to invite him.  As you do.  But Bella is, apparently, going to Seattle for the day, for no other reason than to get out of town.

And Edward’s eyes are black.  He is hunnnnnnnnnngryyyyyyy.

Bella decides that Edward has too much influence over her, and it is unhealthy.  YES, DEAR, IT IS.  PLEASE KEEP THIS STATE OF MIND FOR THE NEXT FOUR BOOKS.  PERHAPS YOU WILL THEN CALL IN BUFFY AND SHE WILL TAKE OUT THESE FAKEPIRES AND LIFE CAN GO ON AS PER USUAL.  But, as we know, that doesn’t happen.

So they growl at each other a bit, and Edward says that it’s better if they’re not friends. He literally says that.  Look:

“I’m sorry.”  He sounded sincere.  “I’m being very rude, I know.  But it’s better this way, really.”

I opened my eyes.  His face was very serious.

“I don’t know what you mean,” I said, my voice guarded.

“It’s better if we’re not friends,” he explained.  “Trust me.  Because I will eat you OM NOM NOM.”

Bella accuses Edward of regretting saving her, and he gets angry, and apparently “You’re welcome” is a retort?  Okay.  And then basketball!  I like basketball.  I played in grade school.  Actually, it wasn’t that fun, because nobody on my team liked me either year.  But whatever, because swim is much more badass and everyone on the team is either nice or an awkward freshman.

After basketball, Bella gets asked to the dance by Eric.  Like, he actually asks her, not asks her to ask him.  I’m telling you, Bella, just walk up to, like, Jessica, or someone, explain what’s going on, and kiss the hell out of her.  It’d be great, and supper effective!

Nicked from twisted_paopu over at deviantART

So she turns him down, and then Edward acts like a rude mofo, and Tyler climbs out of his new car and invites Bella to invite him to the dance.  And I facepalm again.  Bella gives him the line about Seattle, and he says Mike said that, and that he, Tyler, thought that Bella was just letting Mike down easy.  First: grammar fail.  You let someone down easily.  Second, I facepalm a fourth time.

Bella goes home, makes chicken enchiladas (my mom makes really good ones, and I think I can do it pretty well.  Just sayin’), and Bella chats with Jessica, and then Bella figures that she’s too absorbed with Edward and that’s why he won’t be friends with her.  Because he’s not interested in her.

Bella.  Sweetie.  Please.  Listen to me.  HE.  WANTS.  TO.  EAT.  YOU.

When Charlie gets home, he is suspicious of green peppers.  And, apparently, asking permission sets a bad precedent.  Because, you know, a seventeen-year-old who is still living with her father and whose only mode of transportation technically belongs to him (not just because he bought it, but because you can’t legally own anything until you’re eighteen) can totally do whatever the hell she wants.  Because we live in Bizarro World.

The next morning, there is rudeness from Edward, as he rudely asks tells Bella to go to Seattle with him and rudely sends out mixed signals.  He says that they shouldn’t be friends, but he wants to be, demands that she go with him, and, when she agrees, tells her to stay away from him.

And the chapter ends with me not knowing what the hell just happened.



OTHER CHAPTERS

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 5